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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30100644">The Forbidden Pillow Fight</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SittingOnACornflake/pseuds/SittingOnACornflake'>SittingOnACornflake</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Beatles (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Established Relationship, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, McLennon, my brain divorced me while i was writing this, starrison, they're so dumb but john is worse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:00:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>942</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30100644</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SittingOnACornflake/pseuds/SittingOnACornflake</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>John hears noise coming from George and Ringo’s room. John is not pleased. John suspects they're having a pillow fight without him.</p>
<p>Or: John doesn’t understand starrison is a thing, and they’re all dumb.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>George Harrison/Ringo Starr, John Lennon/Paul McCartney</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Forbidden Pillow Fight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I blame @Rufusrant for this; her works are so amazing that she made me want to try  writing crack myself. I'm not used to it so I hope it turned out okay. I certainly had fun writing this!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The noise? Rather noisy. Unmistakable. It’s noise, and it comes from George and Ringo’s shared hotel room. Who else would make that much noise at two in the morning? It’s sure, it’s certain, no one could deny it. Noise.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>John sits up in the bed he shares with Paul. He flicks his bedside table lamp on. Paul rubs his eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ve been thinking,” John says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Say no more,” Paul replies.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He leaves the bed hurriedly and returns seconds later, a helmet on his head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“There. Proceed,” Paul invites him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, Macca,” John says with a fond smile. “We’ve agreed on this. Just the helmet isn’t enough. We’ve gotta protect you from my thoughts.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He heads towards the bathroom and brings back the rest of the armour.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Paul huffs. “Can we at least skip the coat of mail?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>John tuts and wordlessly helps Paul into the various parts of it. Once they’re done, Paul draws a sword out of nowhere and taps the flat side of it on his shoulders as a thank you.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Go on now,” he says, his face hidden by the visor and his metallic voice sounding as if he were far away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>John opens his mouth. Paul takes a deep breath and plants his feet on the rug.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I think,” John drawls, relishing the taste of the unusual word on his tongue, “I think George and Ringo are awake.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Paul, prepared for the blow as he was, falls backwards in a clatter of armour anyway. John helps him up with some difficulty.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mind-blowing,” Paul comments, lifting his visor. John bows before him, forcing Paul to knight him again. “And you know what?” Paul adds.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>John shakes his head as another thud comes from the corridor. Paul smiles. “I think you’re right.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“God, Macca, that’s so hot. We’re both thinkers now,” John says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He grips Paul by his armour and tries to kiss him but the other pushes him away with his gauntlet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not now,” he says, “I’ve got about fifty pounds of steel on my back, there’s no way I’m doing any additional physical exercise with you right now.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>John pouts, but his face lights up quickly when he seemingly has an idea – it makes Paul stagger. “Alright,” John finally says. “I’ll be back.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He turns around, a determined look on his face. In his haste, he knocks Paul over and the helpless knight collapses on the ground again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Johnn! You need to help me up!” he calls, but John doesn’t hear him; he’s already left the room and Paul moves pointlessly from side to side like a giant insect.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>While Paul is busy, John rushes through the corridor. He bangs loudly on George and Ringo’s shared hotel room. A lady with hair curlers answers after the third knock. John sneaks a glance inside, but the only person in the bed sports the longest moustache John’s ever seen and is clad in a flowery pyjama top. They share a suspicious glance before John decides none of these people are his friends.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wrong door,” he informs them. “Good night.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thankfully, a screech he definitely associates to George resonates through the whole building at that moment and guides him towards the right door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“George? Ringo? You awake?” he calls, mouth pressed to the peephole for some reason.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No,” George groans from the inside.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh. Sorry.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>John is about to leave when their door opens. Ringo appears, dishevelled and flushed. It’s apparently much hotter in their room than in Paul and John’s.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So you’re awake,” John states.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ringo shivers from the sheer strength of that deduction, but unlike Paul he doesn’t loose his balance. John crosses his arms on his chest. He takes in Ringo’s messy appearance one more time, from his ruffled shirt to his tousled hair. That, combined to the frequent glances Ringo sends back where George must be waiting for him, can only mean one thing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s not fair,” John scowls.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ringo plays dumb, but John won’t have any of it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t lie to me,” he says. “I know you’re having a pillow fight without me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The grinding of an armour interrupts them before Ringo can think of something to answer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“John!” Paul pants, stopping in front of them and resting his hands on his knees to catch his breath. “Leave them alone, come on.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You don’t understand! They betrayed me!” John cries out before adding, “And they betrayed you, too!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I promise we weren’t having a pillow fight,” Ringo says, his face somewhat solemn despite his red cheeks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But he has lost John’s trust, who merely gives him a hurt look that would make even a hungry George weep in no time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sorry Rings,” Paul says. “I tried to stop him, but–”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You <em>knew?</em>” John exclaims, turning to face Paul.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s not a pillow-fight,” Paul says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>John considers him. “I want to inspect the pillows,” he says, squinting. “I’ll know right away if you’re lying.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m not letting you do that." Ringo blocks John’s view of the inside of the room as he says that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“John. If you come back to our room with me, I’ll tell you what they’re doing. I’ll even show you,” Paul offers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why not here?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’d be wiser for you to put the armour on first.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>John can’t object anything to that. He nods. Ringo sighs thankfully. Before he closes the door, John distinctly hears George make a weird sound of relief. John trails behind Paul, who is very happy to take off his steely clothes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ten minutes later, John yelps and falls face first onto the floor.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh my god. But … Do you think we can still have a pillow fight tomorrow?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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